TRANSCRIPT VIDEO
0:00
So you wanna be cool like me, this guy.
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Well, lemme tell you, it ain't coming easy boy.
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You can't just walk up and be like "hey, I'm cool".
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I know what you're thinking. "How did he get so... cool?"
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"How did he... get so... fresh?"
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"and... how does he stay so humble?"
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Instructional Videos
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oh then sit on a couch or a chair upside
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down in this position your chin is the
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performance nose holy shit making
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upside-down face look like it's really
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saying that's so cool teeth which you
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lower lip and expose your upper teeth
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which are up a liver then cut loose this
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will take some practice but you'll soon
1:00
be showing off the hit to your friends I
1:02
did look so good hey guys you boy Jack
1:12
said that if CJ cotton oh my god oh my
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god number one why does he look like me
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number two why is it cringey like me
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it's your friendly neighborhood turtle
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pie here number three is that my dad
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that's my dad anyway guys he's going to
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talk about three boxing please please
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talk about beat boxing beat box yes I
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have my own theme music when I walk
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right he has his own theme music when he
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walks he has his own feet marriage thank
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you this guy so fucking slick this is
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like the cooler version of me just look
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at it I have my own theme music when I
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want who had the theme stuck so for when
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they walk I bet you don't have I bet his
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hair is not naturally blonde like mine
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though and I walk in the street I'm
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looking good what wife is dying why they
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me get away from me with the fuck yeah
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what is happening what is happening ok
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now here's how you can make your own
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beatbox out ok first practice doing a
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book sound explosively is you're not
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alright alright what else try that now
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make a hard case out in the back of your
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mouth now put the two together and you
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get this now you what I'm supposed to do
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it together what the fuck see I think
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it's party time so badly see I think
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it's party time see ya i think it's
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party time right there break it down now
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my name is dead I've learned I've
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learned so much already honestly like I
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feel indulged I feel like I feel like my
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life is better now here's a clip when
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you can do while waiting for your
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hamburger to be served all right fine
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I've been looking for a long time for a
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quick one when my hamburger is getting
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served okay let's see why what else do
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you got cuz the string trick I don't
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think you can beat the string trick the
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string trick it ah fuck it scared me and
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the Big Finish that I first drink is on
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the face so stick from the top and
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crinkle up from the bottom oh you get a
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nice tight coil by the sexy porn music
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next get a drop of water or some other
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kind of beverage drop on the crapper and
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voila shower okay so our fans watch out
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now incredible yeah dude I'm going to
5:02
get a burger right fucking now to try
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out that string worm shit cuz that's
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that's just not cool that's science cool
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bands in here it's going to vanish it
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how is it going to do it I'm going to
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show you how to do this he's going to
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show us how to do it we are on this side
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of the stairs or on this where's the
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stairs it's not a stairs is it the hedge
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and over there is somebody else and they
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don't know what's going to happen and
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what we're going to do is walk down the
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head it just hit me like this is the
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kind of shit that I remember to when I
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was a kid like pre-internet this is
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pre-internet area you would do shit like
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this and it would be like dog that is
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the coolest shit I have ever seen today
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it's like hey have you seen this gift
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like this we take a step behind we bend
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the knee the body stayed straight we
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take another step we go down a little
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further we take another step we go down
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a little further until finally we're
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down here now if we get down here and
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you still have a ways to go you can fake
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the rest of it with your upper body in
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your head like this until you disappear
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holy shit that's okay i gotta try this I
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gotta try this I gotta try this one okay
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GC you know you don't see me now okay
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hey guys it's me Felix going no sir I
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thought it looked cool I don't know
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ah now the secret to this one wait she
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didn't get her that's hilarious pinnacle
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of comedy door face slam why have I not
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thought of that I don't even have a door
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I need to install a door but in front of
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you as you exit so that you kick the
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door then pretend that you've just
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walked into it headfirst now first
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practice this slowly and carefully to
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get your timing right and then add in a
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real loud oh so that you fool everyone
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this is why parents are so cringy I
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they've been trained by these people and
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make sure you're wearing your shoes on
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this one oh dude that's so goofy that's
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so crazy look oh good what's that okay I
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need to practice a little bit all right
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all right guys there's been this season
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oh no how does he do that now how did
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she do that are they with that period hi
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it pretend that you have a dog pulling
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on your pant legs so you position
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yourself behind the door shit I can
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literally imagine like myself like 12
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watching this and thinking like that's
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hilarious I gotta try that and then you
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try it off and then it's just a Cringer
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thing ever and then it's the kind of
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thing that you regret literally your
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whole life 26 years old 27 you still
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remember that one moment that you did
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this thing you thought would be cool but
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it's nearly just crunchy piece of shit
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and you look like a moron see
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gangway but I don't know what what oh my
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god the Grinch the Grinch it's me yo
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wherever I go I always take my bicycle
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horn with me oh wait a minute Thank You
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Man hey timber sensory how funds over
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finger bullying of a long line of finger
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contortion the way what is he doing
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funds it was about to perform the
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amazing leader dangle the finger tangle
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now let's see that amazing feat quick a
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slow most quickly in slow motion okay
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the alfonso de fazer switches is two
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index fingers to make this fabulous beam
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one two three Stig re
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